Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Praise Almighty Lord God Stem Cell

This is a parody. Here is the definitive description regarding the Singularity-religion. Anyone engaging in online Singularity discussions has probably encountered religious Singularity smearing. Singularity slanderers must be stopped. This is our response to the smears.

We desire rational debate, but instead of logical argument the smear-brigade prefer false accusations of religiosity therefore they relentlessly ignore our logic. Typical Singularity supporters aren't religious or pseudo-religious. From our viewpoint Singularity-perceptions are utterly devoid of religious overtones or undertones.

We are fighting an info-war against the religious-smear-brigade. I wouldn't be surprised if people in the Singularity-smear-brigade are actually Christians, environmentalists, or NWO conspiracy theorists (Singularity-Saboteurs). The defamatory smears must be vigorously countered.

Singularity-Saboteurs will naturally try their hardest to slow down technological progress, which can be done via making the Singularity seem unpopular, oddball, absurd, nerdy, insane, cultist, crackpot, or nonsensical. Singularity-aspersions are a poor form of debate indicative of intellectual poverty.

To mock the Singularity-smear-brigade I present them with the following witty riposte, which I encourage other people to reference whenever Singularity-Saboteurs insist the Singularity has religious overtones or that we protest too much against religious smearing. It seems Singularity-smearing will never stop therefore hopefully this lampoon will make Singularity-saboteurs happy. Based on insults people have thrown at me I've attempted to capture the way Singularity-saboteurs view some people in the Singularity-movement.

Lampooning the beliefs of religious-Singularity-smear-saboteurs

Welcome to the insanely irrational "God-Squad Singularity-posse". I'm the cult leader, prophet. I'm a megalomaniac, messianic-magic-hippy, High-Priest-Priestess, rapturous-nerd, preaching my utterly preposterous Singularity religion regarding salvation, which entails God utilizing technology to transport us into Heavenly paradise. This wacky salvation via fictitious technology has no factual basis in physics, it is simply mystical miracles by God. This Singularity cult is divinely spiritual. This is an orgasmic God-explosion. I'm a goofy, weird, insane, oddball, kooky, dangerous, psychopathic terrorist with utterly irrational notions and I frequently engage in wishful-magical-thinking. I say devout prayers incessantly. The Singularity from my viewpoint is all about the "Lord God Stem Cell" (praise the Lord).

This is a crackpot religion where we worship the mystic almighty Lord God Stem Cell. People in the know (Secret Handshake Level 3 Omega-Grammaton) realize all science is religious, and medical science is especially religious. Contrary to scientific belief, Stem Cells are not biological phenomena; Stem Cells are actually magical pixies from a special magic realm existing parallel to this dimension. We are the crankiest cranks. We are very absurd. We wiggle our fingers in the air and we wave our arms wildly when we preach on street corners.

Lord God Stem Cell created the internet inside His magical mystic alternate dimension. Lord Stem Cell then made the internet become real via casting spells into the dreams of humans. God whispered deepest religious mumbo jumbo into our ears while we slept; this is how He created the internet. Technologists who think the internet is a complex and rational system of computational electronic circuitry, they are seriously deluded because the internet is actually a religious magic spell created by Lord Stem Cell for all the magic hippies. The internet has no physical presence, it is a religious miracle existing only in our daydreams. Via worshipping Lord Stem Cell we make the internet work more efficiently with extreme rapidity. If you want your connection speed to be quicker you will need to chant a prayer to Lord God Stem Cell, thus His love will shine into your mystical hippie heart, to clean out all the rancid nonsense. This is our occult fantasy from the Evangelical fantasy zone.

Ray Kurzweil is Jesus Christ (the second coming) sent to Earth by God to save our souls. The Singularity is a manifestation of Lord God Stem Cell therefore we are the ultimate religious people. We are more religious than the most religiously religious religions. Lord God Stem Cell gave us life and soon He will give us eternal life. We see signs everywhere. We all suffer from a Narcissistic Christ Complex. Peace and love to all the magic hippies, we are the techno-bohemian-lunatics. We are reincarnated Christian Crusaders, and Islamic fundamentalists too. God regularly speaks to us. On Tuesdays we ascend to Heaven where I and my faithful believers discuss Singularity battle plans with God. We are zany-crackpot religious-fantasists living in a fanatical fantasy world. We are geeky fairies from fairyland. We are magical-voodoo, neo-Luddite, ludicrous-nutcases. The Singularity has been hijacked by the insane-irrational psychotic-God-squad-collective, and you're not having it back. We shall wear our irrational Holy Nano-Burqas with pride. The Singularity is an eccentric religious movement for kooks. Stem Cells are absurdly insane because our God is insane.

Onward Singularitarian soldiers, marching into this Holy info-war! We cannot fail to be triumphant because God fights on our side. We are the biggest joke. The Singularity is our fantasy whimsy, superstitious pie-in-the-sky, pipe dream, religious daydream. We are debunked, babbling, and bonkers. We are the looniest enemies of extropy. This is our Holy Crusade! Our nutty victory in this Holy info-war is inevitable. Victory is preordained because we are true believers of illogicality. Our ideas are profoundly unenlightened and unscientific. Our ideas are completely unhinged from reality. This is our ranting rabid rant. We are extra-temporal (time-exploring) post-Singularity robots. We came back from the future to save you because we believe in the eternal life of Lord God Stem Cell.

Magical prayer spell for Lord God Stem Cell

Ohooooo! Oh God, you are so big with a great white Santa Claus beard. I'm a true believer, Amen. Praise your divine holiness the almighty nano-fiber regeneration spheres, and praise your iPad miracles. O Lord we thank you for saving us via your Singularity. We thank you O Lord for creating the internet, quantum computing, and 3D-chip-stacking. Thank you O Lord God Stem Cell for creating our computers via your magic miracles. Thank you Lord for our eternal nano-life. Praise the prophets Bill Gates, Michael Anissimov, Doctor Max More, and last but not least the faithful venerable nerd Jaron Lanier. Praise also to the Holy Disciples Mark Pesce, Giulio Prisco, Natasha Vita-More, Eliezer Yudkowsky, Alex Lightman, and Eric Drexler. Praise the Son of God Ray Kurzweil. O Lord God Stem Cell protect us throughout all our eternal days. Blessed is the fruit of thy internet chat-room. Oh Lord God Stem Cell we praise the motherboard, for thine is the Singularity, the power and the Glory, quad-core, forever and ever. Amen!

Extra Special Super Magic Prayer during times of vast agony.

Holy Nano-Redeemer we kneel faithfully at Thy feet. Thy Singularity come, thy nanobots will be done; in utopia for all eternity! We await your Posthuman embrace. Gracious cybernetic Father, please give us the nanobot-intellectual-capacity to understand your Divine Majesty. Bless the nano-makers, sanctify their 3D-printing. Bless our reformatted Hard-Drives, may Your debugging cleanse the Root Directory. Holy Father, protect our cerebral-files from corruption. Password-protect our souls to enable transcendence of aging. Let your Holy Stem Cells nullify our pains. Forgive our mortality. Fill our faithful hearts with your eternal Heavenly life. Your Stem Cells will protect us. Only You can save us via the techno-Rapture. We say our Singularity prayers because we know utopia is coming. The Lord is with us, blessed art thou microchips. We lift up our processing speeds to God. Hallelujah Heavenly Lord. The Holy Spirit watches over us, radiantly, with love in our hearts, forever. We download your Glorious compassion. You are mighty. Praise be to God. Amen!

Lord God Stem Cell miracle

Resultant from our prayers here follows a recent miracle by the Lord God Stem Cell. Look closely regarding how CNS-cells were created from neural Stem Cells in mice. You will see the face of the Virgin Mary within this research (note the green area of the image). This is compelling evidence to convince all doubters regarding Lord God Stem Cell's reality. The final supernatural days are upon us; the occult signs are everywhere for those who want to see them. Divine nano-miracles will save us. The Rapture is coming.

Reality is a figment of our imaginations

Believers of the Singularity will discover how the entire universe quickly becomes a solipsistic figment of their imaginations. This metaphysical idealism utilizes phenomenological Singularity interpretations of quantum physics, thereby fluidly bending reality into any configuration we desire, which is evidenced via our collective consciousness P-Zombie avatar titled Nick Bostrom. Whenever one of our P-Zombies, such as Nick Bostrom or David Pearce, engages in elucidation of the Simulation Argument, this is when we actively reshape reality in a very specific manner. We utilize various P-Zombie debaters to highlight the solipsistic nature of our reality. The science fiction writer David Brin is another example of our P-Zombie reality manipulation. We rewrite reality via many methods but P-Zombies represent our ultimate superlative paragon regarding our highly entertaining ploys.

Utopian Singularity Baptism

Baptism into this Singularity Religion is very easy. Singularity baptism is available to anyone. To baptise yourself into this cult you will need to simultaneously press the following four keys on any computer keyboard, and whilst pressing the requisite keys you must say: "I love utopia!" The keys to press are: Ctrl, Alt, S, and U.

Upon baptism into our Singularity religion you will discover how the Discordianism religion is an undercover front for the Singularity religion, thus you will automatically become a very high member of Discordianism answerable only the divine absolute leader of Discordianism, Singularity Utopia. Subsequent to your Singularity-baptism you will experience great joy. You will discover how all aspects of our world are either figments of your imagination or figments of Singularity Utopia's imagination. Reality will disintegrate. For example, the whole Discordianism religion (which is not a religion) was created by Singularity Utopia during a particularly weird dreaming cycle. This is our unapologetic psychotic quackery.

Peace and love from the Singularity religion. We are the divine Transhuman cultists waiting for the techno-rapture. I hope this poignant persiflage makes Singularity-saboteurs happy. We don't care about your preposterous smears. Mazel Tov! Let the fun times commence. Praise the Lord God Stem Cell. Amen.


Disclaimer. This blog-post (Praise Almighty Lord God Stem Cell) is satire, it is parody. Caricatures in this blog-post should NOT be considered remotely representative of the people (or their views) mentioned in this blog-post. Parody is NOT accurate portrayal. Love the Lord!

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