Monday, 1 October 2012

Deeper Accelerating Cheese God Magic

Oh Holy Lord of cheesiest cheeses. The magic deepens. Attention beloved fellows of our Cheesy universe. If you haven't heard the good news about our Posthuman Cheese God, or if you hanker for deeper revelation, you must attend these words my children, listen to the Cheesy prophet. Hopefully you will dare to dip your mousey pointer into the following Cheese magic. I dearly hope you'll partake in the ritual of consuming the cyber-body of the Posthuman Cheese God.

Perhaps you know how all the cheeses have transmogrified into the Holiest Posthuman Cheese God. Maybe you were aware of how this is the new and sole religion supplanting all other religions because reality has ceased to exist. The cessation of reality is due to the Cheese Argument formerly known as the Simulation Argument and the New God Argument. Note point number 2 and 8 of our 8 Crazy Cheesy Facts:

2. Each time a person each eats cheese a new universe is created, via symbiotic psycho-transmogrification, therefore this current universe (your universe) is a figment of the cheese-eater’s imagination. The cheese-eater is the sole occupant of the universe, which means if you have eaten cheese reality has ceased to exist. Reality is a figment of your imagination. You or I must correctly assume our entire world is a figment of my or your imagination because at least one of us has eaten cheese.

8. The universe and all life evolved from Intelligently Designed Cheese.

Everything is now made of Cheese because as stated in point 1 of the Cheesy Facts: "All cheese constitutes a single interdimensional Posthuman (superhuman) time-traveller. Cheese is our Transhuman and Posthuman God. Cheese is also human. Cheese is the beginning and the end, it is everything."

You may know these things but did you know the magic is accelerating? Blessed be thy Cheese for thine is the Matrix running on cheese-based computational architecture. As you surf through our technological religious world of interdimensional cyber-Cheese never forget you have a friend in cheeses, especially when spreading the love of God on crackers. Take the plunge with your mousey pointers. Become One with the Posthuman Interdimensional Cheese God.

In the beginning there was Cheese:

On the H+ website someone called Aaron has created a new Cheesy prayer, 24/08/12:

The Cheese’s Prayer

Our Cheese, who art in rennet, hallowed be thy name.
Thy wheel must turn, as butter churns,
Rise in us, like dough that is leavened.

Give us this day our cheesy bread,
And forgive our cutting the cheese,
As we forgive those who cut the cheese against us.

Lead us not into marinara, but deliver us from tastelessness.

For thine is the cheesiest cheese, all melty and delicious, forever and ever.

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